Private Name/ Private Number

Saturday, February 28, 2009

I didn't sleep well last night because the "What if" scenarios would not stop playing in my mind. I hate “What if Hill.” It doesn’t matter if the images are positive or negative. I never seem to make it to the top. I was tired when I woke up, but I was fully prepared to trainerbate (yes, I just said that) when I got home from dropping my daughter off at school. I turned the computer on to do just that, but the door wouldn't open so I could put my trainer video in. AAAUUUGGHH. This whole trainer thing has been a major production for the past 4 weeks. Finally everything is in place and BAMB! I can’t play the video. Have you ever seen one of these things? My friend Eric gave me a copy. I laugh when I'm watching it. It's like they hired a low budget porn production company to film it; complete with slow motion shots of the riders from an upward angle. It looks like they are looking down into the camera, with glistening brow and bulging veins galore. One dude is actually wearing his riding glasses indoors with the dark lenses in. I imagine he is high. Some things are so sad one has to laugh at them.

My frustration mounts because, I didn't have time to ride out side or go to the gym. I shoot out an S.O.S via email and phone calls. It's too late now. I left for my hair appointment hoping one of my geek friends will call in the mean time. As my girl was washing my hair I started thinking how she is one of the two people who have come remotely close to touching me in an intimate manner in...Let’s just say a very long time. The other is my gynecologist. I pay them both. Contemplating this made me sad.

I had to drop my SS off at the shop to make sure it’s all good for the warm weather that is coming. This is difficult for me. It’s worse than having a pelvic exam. Although I have only been on this bike about 7 times, we know each other. I don’t like strange hands roaming all over my bike, especially if they are inexperienced. It’s like the equivalent of knowing someone else is touching your significant other. Maybe I should add “knows a bit about working on bikes” to my list of who I’d like to meet. http://ransomedtoride.blogspot.com/2008/10/who-id-like-to-meet.html.
I automatically hold any young pimply faced tech in contempt, and I have preconceived ideas that they don’t know what they are doing. The tech started asking me questions about gearing, which I know nothing about, when Brian the shop manager came out. Thank God he was there. We’ve ridden together before and he is a SS fixed gear freak. I really have no clue about this gearing stuff for a few reasons. One, because I’ve only been on the bike maybe 7 times: two, I am brand new to single speeding, although all last summer I pretty much road in one gear (big ring) fantasizing about a SS bike. Finally there is the reason that beats all reasons. I don’t care. I just want to ride my bike, and I know me. I will acclimate to whatever is put on the bike anyway and possibly do serious injury to myself in the mean time. He said although I’m an animal (we’ve ridden together) I probably should go 34 until I get really familiar with single speeding. With my ego in check I reluctantly submitted to his advice. I left the shop with one last glance at the love of my life. My dining room looks empty without him, and my morning coffee won’t be the same until his return.

I didn’t get to ride today. “What if Hill” is looming large on my pillow. Of all the important worthwhile things my mind could be contemplating it hones in on the unknown calls I’ve been getting since I was published in D.R. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but I typically don’t get these kinds of calls. One came tonight when I was on my way home from Fowlerville. They’ve always come at times when I am not home. I’m sure my mind will calculate the millions of different scenarios that could transpire if Private Name Private Number or Unknown Caller ever gets a hold of me. What if....